Building a romantic relationship on a solid foundation with Kristopher Lovestone (Ep.2)

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Summary:

Kristopher grew up in a household with 6 divorces, and vowed that he would one day have a thriving relationship.
Happily married now for 14 years, Kris has achieved his goal, and has in fact become a sex educator, an author, and a relationship consultant. Today he shares with us practical tools for building long-lasting relationships, understanding the other gender, and cultivating a healthy sex life with your partner.

Show Notes:

  • My long journey started with medical school, but then I saw that my ultimate purpose was to work outside the system, and focus on the relationship with people as well as helping them improve, rather that contribute from inside the system which most likely ends in profits for corporation.

  • Growing up I lived through six divorces, and naturally I did all I could to act as a mediator to make those relationship work, as I child I was inclined to do this work, and I wanted as an adult to do things different so my relationships work. The feeling of falling in love, at first is so magical, but then most people are not willing to do the work, after some time most people see the true character of the other person and are most likely to not stick around.

  • We should change the approach to doing the work to build strong foundations. Learn self-awareness, honesty and intuition to know what you want and what you don't want in your relationship. Learn to communicate non-aggressively to the other person, learn to say no and learn to listen. Learn to emphasize with your partner’s experience and feeling, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Create a list of acts of service that are easy for you to do to make your partner happy.

  • Re-romanticizing your relationship. Learn to love in the way your partner will feel love. Love is act of service. Men typically don't understand the pattern of female arousal. Work from the top down approach. Take it slow. Be loving. Understanding of female anatomy. Women typically don't understand that the genitals are the gateway to their love.

  • The opposite from the top down method. Cuddle Parties teaching boundaries and consent. Make invitations rather than demands. Tips for ending the paralysis for men, seek for role models